109: A New Addition to the Top 10 List

I can’t get that basketball night out of my mind. 
January 12, 2012 is officially on my list: 
“Top 10 List of Best Moments of My Life”

As it is no secret, we’ve had some major obstacles, speed bumps, road blocks, stalemates, standoffs, and stumbling blocks on this pilgrimage to raise adults. At times it has taken great faith, prayers, and hope to trick myself into seeing the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel – But wait…my eyes, my heart, and my head definitely saw a flare fly across that gymnasium Thursday night.
   
     We have challenged his teenage groove in a manner that has shook us all to the core. Of course he’s angry at us, of course he doesn’t understand why we’re doing what we’re doing, and of course he doesn’t like our parental expectations.

So what I expected to see, hear, and feel that night was teenage vexation.
But what we got instead was respect.

Obviously our journey through the teenage jungle continues, but boy, oh boy…it sure was nice to see that wonderful glimpse of the great man he is becoming.

Love you, Babe. Nice playing Thursday night.
Mom

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4 thoughts on “109: A New Addition to the Top 10 List

  1. For the past 2 hours, I have been engrossed in your blog. I have read every. Single. Post. I have read all of the comments. I have bit figurative holes in my tongue to keep from typing out virtual verbal beatdowns to some of M's “friends.” I have held my tongue for one reason — I remember being a teenager and I know that anything that I say to them would fall on deaf, defiant ears. But now that I have caught up to you on this road you are on, I wanted to tell you that as a mother, I am in awe of you. My kids are not yet teens. I am 6 years away from where you are with M. I hope that I never face those struggles with my kids. I know that I will most likely have some version of teenage rebellion from all 4 of them, and I know that I will not be prepared for it when we butt heads. I hope that I am strong enough to face those challenges with the love, strength, and courage that you demonstrate with M. I hope I will have the persistance and consistancy. I pray that I will be attentive to the changes in my kids. And I hope that when their behavior raises red flags, I will investigate further and NOT dismiss, that I will call the other parents and the school, and that I will ACT, as you did with M. I would rather OVER react than to not react at all.
    I think you are very brave to share this journey, in real-time, with the rest of the world — some who have been through versions of this, some who are living this, and those like me, who are hoping to be as good of a mom to our kids as you are being to M. Bravo.

    One parting note to M — Your mom loves you. You can be mad at her. You can be frustrated by her behavior. You can even be hurt by her words and choices at times. But you should know that every one of those statements is true about YOU. You have hurt your mom. You have made her cry. She tosses and turns all night worrying about you. And you have made her angry. She is angry with you and she questions every decision that she has ever made with you wondering if she somehow could have prevented this. But She will NEVER stop loving you. Because she is your mom. REMEMBER that. Remember that she loves you before you roll your eyes at her, or answer her with a shrug, or ignore her all together. And remember that just because she will love you regardless of what you do, does not mean that you can do whatever you want. She loves you.

    Keep writing. I am following, and I am praying for you and M.
    (And I know that FB is not your favorite place, but I am a fellow mom-blogger, and my blog has its own FB page — Counting Caballeros. I shared your blog on my page, and I hope tht your words reach more parents struggling with their kids and the evils of addiction.)

  2. Those glimpses of the man they can be help, don't they? I found that when I see them, I know we must have done something right. I'm glad you had the glimpse of who he is becoming, and the hug & kiss that we moms need every once in while.

    Keep up the good work, your kids have great parents to guide them into adulthood. Thanks for sharing your journey
    Prayers for you all
    L

  3. It will be interesting to see if he keeps up the respect even when a superior from school isn't in the vicinity. I hope he does!

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