This week, I received a comment from a mother, and I can’t get her painful words out of my mind. She wrote about her 19 year old son,
“… this boy of mine may … be labeled for life for stupid choices he and a friend made. I thought if I could get him through boot camp that I would be safe and he would be ok. We are not ok. I am sad, and disappointed and very angry that he threw it all away, on a whim.
We bailed him out Christams Eve morning (01:00). Horrible Christmas with this hanging over our heads. And now he is being nonchalant about it, like nothing happened and we are making too big of deal about it all.”
Several lines scare me as I can’t help but put myself in her shoes. One that rings in my head the loudest is the line about him being “nonchalant.” (That is certainly an appropriate word to describe one of the many baffling attitudes I’ve seen from M in recent months.)
Another line from this heartfelt note that jumps out and bites me is, “…threw it all away, on a whim.” (Impulsiveness seems to be a constant in M’s teenage life.)
Then there was the line that told me her son had made this “stupid choice” with a “friend.” (It’s amazing how brazen, defiant, and foolish a teenager can be with a “friend” at his side.)
My mom keeps telling me, “Don’t give up.”
Don’t worry, Mom. I won’t.
I’m going to just keep on loving him as hard as I always have – even though it hurts. And I know my new friend is going to keep on loving her 19 year old son as hard as she can too – even though it hurts.
“…if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”