99: This Hurts

He just hopped into his dad’s van. They are on their way back to the military academy.
I’m too tired to write anything that makes sense.

All I want to do is yell…

My poor, lost child is struggling through life.
 This is so sad. It hurts.
 Please, God, protect him.
 I just want  him to come out on the other side of these struggles alive.

That’s all I have in me tonight.
J

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3 thoughts on “99: This Hurts

  1. J, to be a mother takes a special strength. You have to let him go through it (whatever It is). I have always found that there is the right way and the hard way. It seems my lessons from the hard way always stick. Until he can tell the difference between a light at the end of the tunnel and a a train heading at him, it is your job to guide and herd him, shove him off the tracks, let him fall, put him back on his feet, encourage him and let him go through his “stuff”. It's OK if he squawks and you simply listen. You have set him on a good path and he just has to do it. Too bad we don't get the instant pay off, just know that this will work for him, this is what you have to do and one day, when it is the last thing from your mind, he will thank you so it is good for you to put him in the car, kiss him and wish him the best. Right now, he has to go.

  2. I'm just geting back into the swing of things after the holidays, and catching up on your blog. my holidays were not happy this year. my 19 year old called the Thur. before Christmas to tell us he was being booked into jail for crimes that are disappointing and disgusting, things young minds tell their parents that it isn't going to happen to them and nothing will come of it.

    well this boy of mine may lose his Army career, be labeled for life for stupid choices he and a friend made. I thought if I could get him through boot camp that I would be safe and he would be ok. we are not ok. I am sad, and disappointed and very angry that he threw it all away, on a whim.

    we bailed him out Christams Eve morning (01:00). horrible Christams with this hanging over our heads. and now he is being non-chalant about it, like nothing happened and we are making too big of deal about it all.

    I am a good mom, I did my best for the last 22 years that has been my job, to be a mom and not their friend, and I feel as if I failed…. my other kids are making good (most of the time) choices, why is my youngest making such improper choices that will screw him up? You're right it hurts

    Prayers for a good new year for you and your family

    L

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