98: Same Old Stuff BMA and BMB

What he doesn’t seem to remember is that this is the exact same behavior
 we have been dealing with for years now. 
This has been going on long before we sent him to the military academy…
and long before I started writing.

Before the military academy (BMA,) and obviously before I started blogging (BMB,) he snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. He also drank in and out of the house, took our phones and received/sent pictures from them (pictures that I’d rather not explain,) and he kept cigarettes, lighters, and chewing tobacco on his nightstand. He left lots of ziplock baggies with pot crumbs all around his room and the spare bedroom. (The marijuana leaf patch I just found on his nightstand, is a lot like all the other marijuana leaf paraphernalia I’ve taken from his room too.)

Less than a week ago, I was signing my ticket because my 16 year old child had consumed alcohol. Next week, we’ll find out what legal consequences will come from it.
Last night, he snuck out and drank with his buddies. He won’t tell us who he was with because, as he said, I’ll call the parents and write about it.

M, 
Until you’re 18 I will continue
 to expect you to follow my rules. If you break
 them, I cannot let you think that I will turn
 my head the other way. 
It’s as easy as that. 
Mom
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3 thoughts on “98: Same Old Stuff BMA and BMB

  1. I agree, no phone … Period. only when he gets a job and can pay for it. I wouldn't have him spend nights at home as much as possible. I would definitely add alarms to doors and windows. I would declare war as each one of these maneauvers are a battle that I'd be determined to win. Wishing you the bold courage you need for the war you are in!!!!

  2. I think KatieBelle's position is a bit dangerous. His friends didn't drag him down, as if M is a passive victim of his friends' actions. Rather, M actively stooped to that base level himself. We may actually be in agreement on this, sometimes something is just plain lost in written communication.

    Be that as it may, M is not a victim. He is responsible for his own bad choices and behavior – the drinking, sneaking out, breaking the law, etc. M is an addict, plain and simple. Having him in military school can give him the chance to dry up. It can give him the much needed structure and disciplne his life
    is lacking. It can give him the distance he requires between himself and the losers he calls friends. It can expose him to his potential and a better way of life. But it can't make him decide he wants more. An until he does, I'm afraid he's going to keep making the same mistakes. I see it in my family and in my profession.

    I know a couple of things I'd be doing differently, Momma. I'd have alarms on every door and window so he ciuldn't sneak out. I'd ask the police to drive by more frequently. You think sending your kid to military school is hard, I'd have let him spend a night in jail last week when he broke the law (the L jail really isn't so bad afterall). I would not be providing him with money or cellI phone. I would NOT have him spending the summer back home. And I sure wouldn't let him hang out with any of his old friends. I think a summer job (if he's not at the school all summer) of 40 hours of manual labor would be a good place to start. Then maybe spending evening and weekends as a family tutoring or volunteering with less fortunate young children.

    Best of luck. My prayers are with you!

  3. M,
    Ever hear of the expression, “he fell off the wagon” in reference to someone starting to drink after they have been sober? I need to point something out here…you didn't fall off the wagon. Nope. Your “friends” grabbed a hold of you and pulled you down to their level. They are laughing AT you, not with you. Obviously they are immature BOYS who don't think much of you…you've given them enough chances…time to move on and find some young MEN who help you do your best in life…and desire the best for you.

    Yes, guys like that exist. You just haven't seen them because you've been too busy ESCAPING life (laying around, smoking, drinking, illegal activities, living like a hobo, destroying, hurting, hating) while they have been EXPERIENCING life (jobs, adventures, thrills, eating/living healthy, goals, sports, helping, building, loving). See the difference?

    Pinocchio did.

    Your parents love you and can see your potential in life. Your buddies, on the other hand, are just using you and could care less about their own futures…much less yours. So….who is the enemy?

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