94: It’s No Secret

At 9:30 last night, M and _____ walked into a house belonging to a “friend of a friend.” They headed down to the basement, sat down on the floor, and talked. Within minutes, the police came down those basement steps.

     At 10:15, my cell phone rang; it was _____‘s sister. ~~  It had been years since I had spoken to sweet K. My mind flashed back 20 years to the many times K, her mom, and I hung out at the kitchen table together. ~~  She explained that M and _____ had been at a party that had been broken up by the police. Either she could bring M home, or I could pick him up.

As I drove down the street (a street on which I had traveled many times) I saw a police car parked in front of a house. Walking in, I realized that the house had little to no furniture. Apparently, it was the “friend of a friend’s” old house, which was on the market.

M apologized to me as I walked towards him.
The officer explained the situation, and I apologized to the homeowner for my son’s behavior. The homeowner and the officer explained that M had already apologized.
     My own fear began to turn to something else that I couldn’t quite figure out at the time. With tears in my eyes, I began to feel less scared of this situation. The police officer was kind, and the homeowner was a mom, like me. It began to feel like we were all in this mess together.

     M and I listened to the officer explain the procedure. He was not in possession of alcohol, but some time prior to stepping into that house, he had consumed alcohol. His violation…Consumption of alcohol by a minor.

Moments ago, I made the required phone call to the Juvenile Intake and Assessment Center; the woman who answered was kind too. She explained that someone will call me back later today, and we will then schedule his appearance.

Some may wonder why I am so public about what just happened. The truth is, I woke up to several emails asking about what happened to M last night. 
News travels…It’s no secret.

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5 thoughts on “94: It’s No Secret

  1. I have a friend whose sister went thru something similar to what M is going thru. She was an alcoholic at 14, drug abuser by 20, jailed 7 times for DUI and drug possession, and over dosed at 36. You might know my friend. He cares about M and would talk to him if you'd like. I think you know who I'm talking about. Email him.

  2. ok, I have to post….. people who say, “my child would never” are sadly in denial. ALL children might and that attitude, which I used to have, is self righteous and not in reality. All of us are capable of making bad decisions, and children with undeveloped brains often do. The other immature parent statement is “I trust him/her”….dumb parenting. That's why we are still parenting, because they need guidance and somebody to pick them up when they fail….and they will….we all do at some point. None of us have arrived…life is a journey…

    Thanks,
    mother of 3 in their 20's…..

  3. I can see that your fear might have been turning into something else… Anger comes to mind. Then again, maybe fear – for M's life since he continues to show such poor judgement. You all really weren't in this mess together. It's just you and M; working for his future. Sometimes just you. You are the only one that really cares about him and his life. That other mom and that officer have their own children to worry about. And speaking of other kids, why is M spending time with this kid. They are not all like that. My 16 year old, S, would not ever begin to do something like what you explained in this post. Although, reading your posts together are helping my 16 year old to make good choices!

  4. There is a clear pattern with M's behavior– he can't just be at the wrong place all of the time and he can't assign blame to other kids all of the time. Only an addict would be so reckless.

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