92: Wish Lists and Wishbooks

It’s Christmas Eve, late afternoon. There is nothing left to do, but my mind is in overdrive. I went on a walk – that helped a little bit.

     For as long as I can remember, M has begun composing his Christmas “Wish” List around Thanksgiving. This marks the first year that M has not handed me a list, written neatly on notebook paper.

(It’s funny to remember the many years my sister and I flipped through the Sears Wishbook at Christmas time. We made our lists too, but they really were just “wishes.” We never expected anything, but somehow our parents created the most magical Decembers in the world.)

     It would be a lie if I said that I have given him everything he’s always wanted…but let’s just say, I’ve come close.

     Last night I wrapped presents…not one of his presents did he ask for…There are no new phones (and we are still not ready to give him his old phone back,) there are no new iPods or XBoxes or Playstations or computers.

Part of this process has been about me growing-up too. Writing this note tonight has helped.
Merry Christmas,


3 thoughts on “92: Wish Lists and Wishbooks

  1. ^if she did want to raise her child then why did she send him to military school as a substitute parent? Did she even look at alternative schools?

  2. You really need to get him in weekly treatment for addiction. Military school isn't addressing M's substance abuse issue, and he clearly has a problem that isn't going away. Sadly he is increasingly manipulative and going to great lengths to sneak around when he is home. He doesnt realize that he can't drink occasionally with his friends and be fine because he has an addiction problem and so it isn't the same as it might be for some of his friends. I'm sorry to say this but You can't trust him.

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