86: On The Third Day Of (Christmas) Furlough

I heard something at 4:30 AM. Was it the heater? Was it the dog? Or was it M sneaking back into the house?

Staring into the darkness, my thoughts ran amok.
But ten minutes into the quiet frenzy, order to this storm of anticipation took shape in the heart of my mother’s covenant…

     I will go upstairs with a flashlight, get close to his face, and smell his breath. (SIDE NOTE – To all of M’s friends who read this…I don’t expect you to be able to comprehend my actions, but when you are parents of teenagers, perhaps you’ll understand me better.) Back to the plan:

  • If that familiar sour smell is permeating from his body and breath, this holiday break will signify the beginning of my new advance.
  • If what I hope and pray happens during this early-morning assessment, then today will be Day 3 of a great Christmas Furlough.
Here I sit at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, eating oatmeal, talking to B. It’s going to be another good day.

2 thoughts on “86: On The Third Day Of (Christmas) Furlough

  1. And why do you still care what his friends think? Yes, you are getting stronger. You are on a steep growth curve which is evident in your writing. But i'm concerned that as long as you still get nervous, or worried about what children think of your decisions, or anxious, that you will continue to have problems. You are doing what you are doing because you HAVE to. The fact that M and/or his friends don't like it is evidence enough that their opinion diesn't matter. In fact if there is anyone who doesn't like it, who gives you looks, who thinks you are too harsh, etc. their opinion doesn't matter.
    You don't become a mother to win friends. You become a mother to get your kid safely to adulthood and then back to God. There is only one you need to answer to. And it is not some teen who routinely breaks the law. It is the God who
    entrusted M's beloved soul to your care in the first place.

    Parents need to quit tip-toeing around their kids feelings and desires. If all parents would do that we'd have alot less of this kind of problem. Let's get back to some good old-fashioned, no nonsense, let 'em know who's boss parenting. My grandmother locked my dad out of the house the first time he was late for curfew. A night sleeping on the porch helped him remember to be on time. And she smoked him under the table til he puked at 0-dark-hundred the first morning after he came home not smelling 'clean'. He didn't dare try drinking!

    Keep getting tougher Major Momma. You are on a roll. No doubt it's hard but that's why God gave us moms backbones! You've come a long way. You are earning your own brass pin – it's the right to be an example and role model for other moms. Especially those moms whos kids are on the path you snatched M off of!

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