84: Christmas (Furlough) Eve

While my friend K and I were talking the other day, she helped me identify something I hadn’t realized yet…I’m not as fragile as I used to be.
     Tears don’t well up in my eyes while I write each note…When I read my drafts to my husband I’m not holding back tears anymore… And I could probably fall asleep easily without writing tonight. Tonight I write simply because I like to do it.  Could this be a new stage in my journey?

     M comes home tomorrow. Unlike the eve of his last visit home, my nerves haven’t given me an upset stomach…I’m not anxiously anticipating his first words to me…And my heart rate and breathing patterns are no longer irregular.

     Actually, there’s a hint of curiosity swirling around in my head now. I’m a little less desperate and a little more confident today. Although I’m still uncertain of what tomorrow will bring, I am better prepared.

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2 thoughts on “84: Christmas (Furlough) Eve

  1. A good mother of sons advised me once, I know they make you crazy, I know that you want to strangle them, but every chance you have, tell him, “You are going to be a good Man” At some point, you will start believing it and so will he. He will start living it. If you can't believe it, how to expect him to? I don't know, it was something for me to hang on to.

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