77: This One’s For You, K

It happened again. K asked, “When are you going to write about me again?” It’s difficult to put into words what my head wanted to tell him…

Every time I write, it’s about you too.

     For many years, my decisions have been made based on what’s best for my kids. Whether you agree or disagree with that approach, the fact is – it’s the plain, old truth. Some may question the choices I’ve made at times… and I did too.
     Like everyone else in this world, life hasn’t unfolded with arrows pointing in the “right” direction. Luckily, my dad had a plan for that. Growing up, he taught my sister and me the fine art of creating two lists, the Pros and the Cons, when making big decisions. This tactic is how I continue to resolve cerebral oppositional forces, and I always consider what’s best for the kids first. (And yes M, 77 days ago I considered the lists.)

So K, you need to know that long before I started to write, my thoughts, my decisions, and my words were already about you. For me, each day is about you. And as you get older, you may or may not realize that I will let you head down life’s highways, freeways, and speedways while I take the backseat. Believe it or not, there will come a time when you grow tired of me steering and shifting gears for you – your brother is already there. (And when I think that the Pro side is longer than the Con side, I’ll let him steer without hanging out in the backseat.)

I’ve loved my job of steering for my kids – I’ll miss it when neither of them need me.

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One thought on “77: This One’s For You, K

  1. saw your blog addy on dr laura's fb thread- it sounded SO FAMILIAR that I had to pop over and see what you had posted. Having barely survived our son's teen years- I want to stress that NOTHING you do is too much if it means trying to save your child. In our case, our son has a felony record b/c we ended up turning him in for having drugs in our home. He was disrespectful, high… you name it. He ended up choosing to leave one day after his hs graduation when he chose to come home 45 minutes after curfew (we were THRILLED he actually graduated- but with young kids at home we were still requiring him to be in by 1am). Our smart, capable, loving son had turned into a lying drug user. Well, that was over 4 years ago. He has had a steady job for a year and a half, a wonderful girlfriend (we LOVE!) for a year, and is finally pleasant to be around. Would I want to live with him again? Definately not. But he's finally becoming the man we hoped- even if it wasn't quite the way we planned it to be.

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