74: Wisdom of (Two Different) Ages

Not too long ago, I received a comment that I didn’t want to publish…and not just because it had a bad word in it.  The comment came from one of M’s friends.
     It went like this…kind of. (I did leave out a couple words, and changes were only made to complete a sentence.)

     “I don’t want to call you crazy your just going over board with this, I’m a friend but not someone who was told “to post nasty comments”. I agree with you to discipline M, but not to the degree that you are taking this… Kids will be kids. Instead of trying to prevent behavior like drinking and pot, try to keep the behavior under control. Kids won’t stop doing it but the best you can do is talk to them about not getting caught by police and not making it an every day thing. People who say that they are gateway drugs…are right and wrong. In the wrong hands of someone who doesn’t have strong parents behind them, such as you, they would probably expierement with harder drugs but in M’s situation he will most likely not. I know you probably don’t care about my opinion but I can’t take seeing him like this anymore. He will drink he will smoke there’s nothing you can do about that. But what you can do is let him know you will always be there for him and love him, knowing that will keep kids from wanting to do bad things. they won’t want to be a … and they will be careful with there drinking or smoking. Please consider these words.”

So, now I’m ready to share it – and this is why:

I suddenly remembered that I am older and wiser.

By no means am I being cocky about this epiphany.  Honestly – I’m not bragging or trying to be condescending. I am simply trying to stress the fact that my life experience has given me insight that perhaps M’s friend hasn’t experienced yet.

I want to scoop this friend up and say, 
     “Thank you for caring about him. But you need to know that we love him more than you can possibly understand…until you become a parent.  At this point in his life, he doesn’t seem to care about our thoughts, feelings, or future.  And his actions are telling me that he doesn’t care about his health, safety, or future either. So, until he has reached a different level of maturity, we will continue to do what we feel is best for him. But thanks, again, for being his friend.”


2 thoughts on “74: Wisdom of (Two Different) Ages

  1. My brother's best friend, D, died in his 20s of AIDS for shooting up drugs, this was in the 1980s. I was straight laced because I wanted to get away from my rural community where my graduating class was 12 classmates!! Drugs were all around our school in the 70s. D's death made me more determined not to have drugs in my life. I told my boyfriend no drugs and then he tried to “reason” with me, but I drew the line because my life was my choice. He's my husband of 22 years and our house is drug-free. I told my daughter that if I ever found out she did drugs our relationship would be over because I knew I would not be able to handle it emotionally. She is now married to a young man who has nothing to do with drugs. What a blessing.

    You go Major Momma!


  2. the friend are afraid their parents might go to this length to get their kid's attention. they rationalize their behavior and they think they are in control.

    my oldest son (25) posted on Facebook the other day “to be old and wise, you must be young and stupid” I tried to tell him that to get to old and wise you need to LIVE through the young and stupid. you are giving M the chance to become wise. some day the kids will see it, if they live through it.

    blessings again,


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