48: Phew…That Was Close

By the time I went to bed last night, good-sense came knocking at my door. And good-sense came in many forms – family, friends,a picture, a comment, and kind strangers.

My whole body felt so much relief once the decision was made…No M, you may not leave the academy this weekend.


     In the hours I debated with myself, my head hurt.  And why did I struggle so much with this decision? – I DON’T KNOW. (Capital letters are an indication of my own confusion with myself…I’m not mad – just baffled and a little embarrassed.)

     Wow.  I have a lot of work to do.

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2 thoughts on “48: Phew…That Was Close

  1. I don't remember how I found your blog,but have been reading for a few weeks……VERY similar lives, but I am a former okie living in Virginia…….walking this walk with you sister….one minute I am a rock and the next very weak…it's our journey too. Our boys will overcome! Prayers for you all!

  2. Your heart wants to love him up, BUT your mind knows what he needs. Remember when he was tiny and crying? Hearing him always made you anxious and sweaty–no one else–but your instinct was desperate-you had to ease his crying; to help and soothe. But, when he was a baby, what would have happened if he had cried because he really wanted to eat your steak? Instantly, your decision would have been made: you would have said “no”-firmly-because he was not ready for it, not because you did not love him. You could try to tell him that he will be able have it sometime in the future, but as a baby, he only wants to satisfy his immediate desire. Sooooo, right now, he's crying for something that is not good for him at this point in time. Tough love…It's hard on both of you-but you know what his future would be without it-and that's why you are in charge.

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