I miss M. But this separation was necessary.
For months, we were living in crisis mode. Each day meant another battle, and battle theme songs seemed to be on a continuous loop: “Please Clean-Up Your Facebook,” “You Are Flunking Most of Your Classes,” “How Much Did You Drink Last Night?” “I Thought You Said You Were Going to _ _ _ _ _ _’s House,” “”Stop Talking to Your Brother That Way,” and the ever playing, “We Found This In Your Room Last Night.”
Luckily, our separation has induced an automatic cease-fire, and it came in just the nick of time because the more tired I grew, the more battles he won…The more battles he won, the harder it was for me to be the strong, firm parent he needed. It was a vicious cycle, and I couldn’t see clearly enough to uncover confidence in my own maternal instincts.
This reprieve has helped me re-gain a little of that confidence. A stronger backbone is mandatory as I am certain that there are more battles ahead of us. My Mother Bear confidence is on a come-back. The war isn’t over yet.