43: Restoring the Parental Force Field

                              “You’re taking my high school years away from me!”

His verbal artillery has been heavy this year, and my weak spots have been exposed. He has mastered the art of Hitting Mom Where it Hurts – and he knows it.
     Now…my parental force field is getting stronger – but M is brilliant at arguing.  He is persistent, strong-willed, and tenacious when he is pleading his case.  But up until recently, the stakes were never so high.

     No topic was ever safe from his relentless line of questioning.  He would argue for 5 friends to sleep over, instead of 1.  He needed the $100 pair of basketball shoes instead of the, still quite expensive, $50 pair we had intended to purchase.  If he still hadn’t worked on his homework and it was already Sunday night, he still insisted on just 30 more minutes (so he and his friends could finish the football game in the backyard.)  Chores took forever to accomplish, homework was incomplete, room was always a mess…and I grew tired.
     As a teacher and one who has filled our family book shelves with titles pertaining to raising children – I knew that “giving in” was not good.  How could I be so weak? Why do I give-in to him so often? Can’t I practice what I preach?  

We have been separated now for over 6 weeks, and the peace in the house has given me the opportunity to refresh my parental control panel.  My heart is ready for his silent treatment – He answers emails…just not mine. My head is ready for his guilt trips – Yes, I’m taking away the high school life he wants – but I’m giving him a future. 

Mom isn’t tired anymore, M. 


2 thoughts on “43: Restoring the Parental Force Field

  1. I still have some worries for M, what about when he comes home from this military camp? Day 1, he'll be back at it again. If he's gotten away with everything with you since he was younger, I'm sure he's got the mindset that he can do it again. You say he's persistent and strong-willed, well he's going to take those characteristics and do the same exact business as before…I don't think a military school can just change someone with the snap of a finger…

    – Your friend

  2. MM, He is the one who is taking away his high school years. He made his choices. You are helping him get back on track, so stay strong and ignore his “guilt trip” loaded comments. He got himself in this mess – not you.

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