17: Hugs For My Bugs

I took K to school and then cried my way to work.  It was that song again, but this time it was a different verse that got me.
     …You know how the time flies, only yesterday was the time of our lives…our glory days…

    Just yesterday, he was on my hip.  What I would give for his little, sweet arms wrapped around my neck while his soft, little cheeks rested on mine.  Right this second I can feel the soft puffiness of his kissable soft skin. We used to say, “Hugs for my bugs, kisses for my wisses, cheek to cheek.”  Not sure why that was the routine, but it was.

     The anxiety I feel about seeing him in couple days hurts.  The tears start to swell, then the muscles around my eyes start to throb.  Then the tears cloud my eyes.  Then the sniffles start.  But right about then I can usually shake it off.  I start to picture him in his fatigues walking towards us, with a little hint of a smile while he is looking down.  My hunch is that he will come up close to me, but will wait for me to put my arms out to hug him.  I hope that’s what happens.


One thought on “17: Hugs For My Bugs

  1. Just like you had the good intuition to know that military school was what would save your son's life, you will “know” exactly what to do when you visit “M” this weekend. You have trusted and listened to your instinct thus far. Cut yourself some slack, and let it happen. My thoughts will be with you. God bless you and your family.

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